


Is this real life or is it just fantasy?

by BJWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Acting, Breaking Up & Making Up, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Hatred, Heartbreaking, Jealousy, Sadness, happiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-05-27 06:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15018902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BJWinchester/pseuds/BJWinchester
Summary: Just a few tid bits, as I like to say. Where reader plays Bobby singers daughter, but is dating Misha. Not really a plot as much as what I am feeling like writing that day. lol





	1. Action

Jensen Ackles watched you and Misha through the screen infront of him, you enjoyed when He doubled as the director as you put it. But sometimes you think he purposely made you redo a scene just to give you a hard time. You stand in the middle of the small makeshift apartment, glaring at a graceless Castiel. 

"Dean, he wouldn't approve." he said trying to justify what he was saying. 

"YOU ARE KIDDING ME RIGHT?! DEAN FREAKING WINCHESTER KICKED YOU OUT ON YOUR ASS, OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT?" You snap Cass takes a step back. 

"No I didn't forget, but he had good reason." He insisted. 

"Good reason? The only reason he ever has for anything he does, is it benefits him and his brother, someway some how." you say with a sigh. 

"I just don't want you to get caught up in the middle of something you shouldn't" Cass says. 

"Seriously? I am standing here, in my own living room. After opening my doors to you, when every one of your other so called friends slammed theirs shut, and you have the nerve to tell me I'm not good enough?" you snide. 

"I didn't say that." he said with a sigh. 

"You didn't have to." you say storming past and grabbing the jacket off the back of the couch behind him. 

"Where are you going?" he asked

"I'm doing this, with or with out you. Unless you can come up with one hell of a reason why I shouldn't." you say starring him down. He ran his fingers through his black mane, and closed his eyes for a moment. 

"That's what I thought. Don't wait up." you say turning. Cass reached out and stopped you. 

"I don't want you to do this, because I care about you alright?" he admitted. You stare at him confused. 

"Look Cass, I care about you too. God I have known you forever, that's why I am doing this." you tell him softly. 

"That's not what I mean y/cn. Since I have moved in here with you, I've grown emotions that I am not use to, toward you." he says. You stare at him in disbelief. 

"What?" you ask

"These human feelings, are new to me, and I'm not sure how to handle them. But I know that if you walk out that door, and god forbid something bad happened to you. And I couldn't help or bring you back.... I'd die all over again." he admits. 

"Are you trying to say, you.... love me?" you stammer. 

"yes." he says. You let the coat fall to the floor. 

"Cass. I have felt that way about you since the first day I laid eyes on you. When We thought you were dead, I died inside. Me asking you to move in here wasn't just me being nice it was me hoping that maybe... Hell I don't know." You say. He looks down at you with a longing in his eyes. Then pulls you to him. The kiss was deep. Hungry, yet sweet. A feeling swept deep inside you and you had to hold in a moan. 

"And Cut." Jensen called out. Misha pulled back and smiled at you. 

"Did you slip me the tongue? Because I swear that I felt....." you said softly. 

"Sorry about that." he said with a wink, as you laughed. 

"Ok guys great job. We're gonna take 20 minutes. Someone want to hose these two down, while we get ready for the next scene?" Jensen called out. There was a ripple of laughter from the crew and you felt your face redden a bit. 

"Hey Jense." you said, when he looked at you, you flipped him off. He looked at you amused. 

"You know, I think there was a shadow on that after all. Maybe we should do it again, just to be sure." Jensen said, with a twinkle in his eye. 

"God no, I'm sorry." you said with a groan. 

"You don't want to kiss me again?" Misha asked sounding hurt. 

"Of course I do, just not in front of an audience." you tell him. 

"Oh well in that case, my trailer or yours?" he asked. 

"mine." you say taking his arm. "Yours smells funny." you tell him.

"No it doesn't." he says. 

"Honey it smells like burnt birch." you say as the two of you walk off. 

You had been a member of the cast since season four, but somewhere around season 6 you found yourself falling hopelessly in love with your co star Misha Collins. So when you finally got the nerve to ask him out, imagine your surprise when he told you he had felt the same way about you for even longer. The two of you had tried to keep your personal life away from the others, but it didn't take long for them to figure it out. Especially Jensen, and Jared. That's why when This whole graceless Cass thing came up, the writers seemed to jump on the chance to bring your romantic life to your character as well. And truth fully you were in love with the idea. The two of you headed toward your trailer. When you opened the door you rolled your eyes as you saw Jared sitting in a chair, reading your Vogue magazine. 

"What are you doing here?" you ask 

"Waiting for Misha." he said looking up at you. 

"In my trailer?" you asked as Misha draped an arm across your shoulder. 

"I figured since his smells like something died in it, the two of you would be spending your spare time here." he said. you looked at Misha with an i told you so raised eyebrow. 

"What ever." he said. 

"Anyway. Misha I was wondering if you wouldn't mind signing a few things for me to auction off for AKF." Jared asked. Misha shrugged. 

"Sure man, I'd love to." he said. 

"Wait, how come you don't want me to sign anything?" you ask

"I didn't think you'd want to sign a picture of yourself shirtless. But hey if you want to." he said. 

"Never mind." you moan as you flop down on the couch. Jared laughed. 

"I am kidding Bj. Actually I was hoping I could get you to maybe write one of those amazing poems of yours I could auction off." he said. 

"I don't know if anyone would want one of those." you say shyly. 

"Are you kidding, they're so up lifting, that I have actually had a couple of request for them." He said. 

"I don't believe you, but sure. I can come up with something." you say. Jared's phone buzzed. 

"Shit, I have to get to set." He says. He patted Misha on the shoulder. 

"Carry on my wayward son." he said as he left. You and laughed as Misha smiled at you. 

"I don't mind if I do." he said as he practically jumped on top of you. You laughed as his hands found their way up your shirt. 

"That tickles." you say as he covers your body with his. 

"How about this?" he asks as he nuzzles your neck. 

"Oh God Misha." you pant. 

"Call me daddy." he whispers in your ear. 

"Daddy." you repeat as you twine your fingers in his hair. 

"Who's your daddy?" he asks as his hands move to slip your bra off under your shirt. 

"You are." you say. 

"Don't you forget it." he says covering your mouth with his. You closed your eyes and sighed as he pulled you into his loving world.


	2. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Didn't plan on writing this, but I dreamed my son last night. Exactly how my character dreamed of her brother. I haven't seen or heard from him in almost a year. I just needed to get it out. Thanks for understanding.

You woke with a start, tears falling anger flairing because he wasn't there. You hated when you dreamed of him, because you would always wake up to him not being there. But at the same time you were thankful for the dreams, because that was the only way you got to see your little brother, to hold him, to hear him. It was almost as if God was tourchering you, and then again maybe he was giving you what he wanted, in the only way he could. No one had seen or heard from him in almost a year, he just dropped of the face of the earth some how, and trying to move on with your life seemed the hardest thing to do, not to mention the cruelest in someways.

You looked at the clock you still had an hr before you had to get up, but you made your self get up anyway. You showered, Dressed, drank a little coffee, but the image of his face never left your sight. Making you sad and bitter. God help those who had to work with you today. Your phone rang and you grabbed your things with out looking at it, and headed outside to meet the town car. 

"Hey Bj, looks likes it's gonna be a nice day today." Max the driver said. 

"I guess." you muttered. 

"Yes ma'me, not to hot, not to cold. Plenty of sunshine." Max said as he turned on to the main road. You ignored him, looking out the side window, as your little brothers face flashed in your mind. 

"So, you have that big fight scene today?" he asked. you rolled your eyes. 

"Yeah." you said and stuck your ear buds in. you turned the music as loud as it would go, and leaned your head back.Max watched you for a moment confused. You were always a bit of a chatter box, real peppy in the mornings. He thought about asking if you were ok, but instead shrugged and said nothing. Max pulled into the parking lot reached over the seat and tapped your leg. 

"Hey we're here." he said when you looked at him. Quickly you hopped out and slamed the door. You didn't mean to, it just sort of happened. You were going t tell him you were sorry but when you turned around he was driving off. 

"Shit." you said. You walked with your head down toward your trailer. Going out of your way not to make eye contact with anyone. 

"Hey." Kim said coming up beside you. You did an irritated side glance. 

"Hi," you muttered. You kept walking but she matched you step for step. 

"So you excited?" she asked. 

"About?" you replied. 

"Jeffrey, he's gonna be directing this ep. Remember?" she said. 

"Oh yeah, cool." you tell her. 

"Hey everything alright?" she asked. 

"Yep. Right as rain." you said darting into your trailer and locking the door. 

"Come on Bj. It was just a freaking dream." you tell yourself. A few minutes later you hear laughter outside your window. Curious you peeked out to see Misha, and a PA Hannah, laughing and carrying on. You liked Hannah she was a sweet girl, although you would often tease Misha about how she had a thing for him. He'd roll his eyes, and say something corny like "Well I only have a thing for you." 

You trusted Misha, so usually her flirting didn't bother you, but today it did, alot. You backed away from the window and anger washed over you again.Someone tried to open your door, but when it wouldn't budge, They started knocking. You tried to ignore it, but then you heard. 

"Bj? Open up! I got something for you." Misha's voice called. With a sigh you unlocked it and then pretended to be busy reading your script, while standing at the counter. 

"Hey there's my princess." He said his blue eyes sparkling. 

"Hi." you said not looking at him. 

"I missed you." he said hugging you from the back. 

"Missed you too." you said half heartedly. 

"Aren't you gonna look at me?" he asked. You turned, your eyes red from holding back tears. 

"Hey what happened?" he asked. 

"Nothing, just tired. Didn't sleep well." you say. 

"I'm sorry. Wanna talk about it?" he asked. 

"Nope." you snap. 

"Come Bj.. what's going on? Talk to me." he says locking eyes with you. 

"Why don't you go talk to Miss Hannah?" you sneer. 

"Because I don't want to talk to Hannah, I already talked to Hannah." he says with a half smile. 

"Yeah, I know. Right outside my damn window too!" you said shoving him away from you. You turned and pulled your boots out from under the couch. 

"Yeah, she was telling me about this puppy she just got." he says. 

"Well goody for her, the little tramp." you mutter taking off your shoes and pulling on your boots. 

"What is this? Are we fighting?" he growled. 

"No, why in the hell would we fight?" you say sarcastically. 

"That's what I am trying to figure out." he says. "Because I apparently did something wrong, but I sure as hell don't know what it was." he snaps. 

"Well, if you don't know, then you obviously didn't do anything wrong right?!" you snap. 

"Maybe I should go." he says 

"Fine there's the fucking door. GO!" you yell. He pinches his eyebrows at you, then turns to leave. But stops He places a necklace on the counter. It was just made of cheap plastic, and had a star hooked to it. 

"It's from Wess, He won it for you the other night at the fair with Vicki." he says. Then he was gone. 

You picked up the necklace, as you looked at it you felt guilty. You couldn't explain why you were in this mood, hell you didn't even really know. All you did know was your heart was hurting and you couldn't make it stop. 

You stomped on to makeup. you were feeling sick, Why did your brother have to just leave like that? No word nothing? Why couldn't he at least let every one know he was ok. God how you missed him. He was/ no still is, your best friend. You went through your daily routine on auto pilot. Doing your best to push through the emotions that were sweeping through you. 

"Hey sis, how's it going?" Jared asked as you stepped onto the set. 

"I'm not your freaking sister! stop calling me that!" you hissed. He looked at you taken aback as you stormed away. 

"You ok?" Jensen asked catching up to you. 

"God I'm fine, can't everyone just leave me the hell alone?" you growl. 

"Really cause, you don't seem fine." he says. 

"What ever. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry Jared, I just didn't sleep well." you say softly. 

"It's ok. look if you need to talk...." Jared starts. 

"Yeah I know your here." you say forcing a smile. You let your work whisp your thoughts of your personal life away, but then. 

"So we have a deal sweet heart? You come with me, and I let the Hardy boys there live another day." Lucifer says with a half smile. 

"y/cn don't do it." Dean says lying bloody on the floor. Sam looks up at you as if his heart is breaking. 

"I have to Dean, family doesn't give up on each other. Remember?" you say your voice cracking a bit. 

"family, is that what they tell you?" Lucifer asks amused. " These two know nothing about family. They only care about themselves." he says. Suddenly you snapped. The words hit to close to home and everything seemed to come undone. You slammed your hands hard into Mark's chest, sending him stumbling back a bit. You could feel people watching you, but you didn't care, it was to much build up. 

"Family don't leave, they don't hurt you!" you yelled. Mark looked at you confused, as you beat on his chest. 

"Whoa Bj.. Hey hey." Jensen was saying pulling you away. Tears were falling hard now, and making your vision blurry. You slowly sank to the floor crying. 

"Ok everybody, were gonna clear the set for about 30 minutes. I need everybody out of here now" you heard Jeffrey's voice ring out. People scurried away, it was as if they couldn't wait to get the hell away from this crazy girl. Jeffrey, and Jared knelt down next to you as you cried. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." you said over and over again. 

"It's ok, hey it's gonna be ok." Jared said. Jeff pulled you to him. 

"Come on kiddo, it's gonna be alright. Tell us what's going on." he says 

"Do you know what it's like to mourn someone?" you ask looking up into his brown eyes. He nodded. 

"Well it's a million times worse to mourn someone who's alive." you say sadly. 

"Bj?" Misha called out as he rushed in. He was in full Castiel gear, but the look on his face was terror. You stood and flung your self into his arms. 

"Misha I'm so sorry." you cried into his chest. 

"Hey, hey it's ok." he tells you. As Jensen, Jared, Mark and Jeffrey watch. 

"I dreamed about him last night. My brother. He was right there Misha, I was talking to him, hugging him, telling him how much I missed him. How we loved him, how we were looking for him. He smiled with me, he cried with me. And then I left him. Why would I leave him? I just got up and walked away. Why would I do that? And then I woke up. And he wasn't there. God he wasn't there again." you cried. Misha's arms tightened around you. 

"Bj?" Jensen said you name in a way that made you know you needed to tell them. you turned and faced your friends, sniffling a bit. 

"My brother was 19, he took off with this woman, almost a year ago. We haven't seen or heard from him since. We don't know where he is, if he's ok, if he's happy. Nothing. Most days I can move on you know. I mean that's what people say right. Life goes on. you have to get on with your life. My favorite is, everything happens for a reason. And most days I do. But then sometimes I dream of him, of his sweet face, and then.. then I wake up and he's not there. I'm sorry guys, really. I just hurt today." you say. Jared crosses over to you and pulls you into a bear hug. 

"Jared I can't breathe." you say with a small chuckle. 

"Tough." he says. then he pulls away and looks down into your eyes. 

"We are here for you sis. We may not be blood, but we're still family." he says. 

"He's right. Shit we've been apart of each others life forever. And we're not going anywhere I promise." Jensen says. His face still looks like he was hit by a truck, but you can see that he's hurting right along with you. 

"Sure kid, I may not see you as much as they do. But if you ever want to talk, you got my number" Jeffrey says with a wink. You give a nod. 

"Mark I'm sorry I kind of lost it on you." you say sniffling. He smiled at you. 

"It's ok, I must say though... you are much stronger than you look." he teased rubbing his chest. You laughed at that, the first real laugh of the day. 

"I'm sorry for earlier Misha." you say looking at him. 

"It's ok. I actually kind of like it when you get jealous. Makes a man feel important." he says wiping the last few of your tears. 

"Shit, everyone's gonna be talking You don't think someone's gonna like post my melt down do you?" You ask looking at Jeffrey. 

"No, They wouldn't do that."He assures you. 

"Trust me, were all family here. But if someone does. You're brothers have you back." Jensen says with a wink. As the others nod in agreement. 

"What do you say, we all go grab a quick bite. On me." Jeffrey says. 

"It's free dude." Jensen says as they walk off laughing. You and Misha turn to follow, his arm around you tightly. 

"I love you." he says kissing the top of your head. 

"I love you too." you tell him. Feeling safe for the first time that day.


	3. Hakuna Matata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got the song stuck in my head, so why not? :)

You stepped out of your trailer feeling like you were walking on air. When you saw Jensen and Marty, one of the P.A's, talking. You trotted up to them a smile on your face. 

"Jensen! Jensen! Jensen! Guess What!" you said excitedly. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. 

"What?" he replied. You stopped and looked at him with a pouty face. 

"Ah, You guessed." you said then hurried away. 

"Great, She's hyper." he said with a sigh, to Marty who smiled. 

You stepped onto the set and saw Jared, and Richard going over the script. You jogged over. 

"Guys! Guys! Guys!" you exclaimed. 

"Yeah?" Richard said as they looked at you. 

"Hi!" you said turning and leaving. 

"It's gonna be a fun day." Jared said. Richard shook his head. They loved when you got into one of your overly happy moods, it seemed to brighten everyones day. A few hours later you were on set standing between Misha, and Jared. While Mark Sheppard and Jensen stood across from you. 

"It has to work." Dean said. 

"I'm telling you it's risky. "Mark said. 

"What? The King of Hell is scared?" Sam asks

"I am not scared,Moose!. I Just happen to have more at stake then the four of you." Mark snarled. 

Jensen looked at you.

"What do you think?" he asked. You looked as if you were weighing options. 

"Hakuna Matata." you said matter of fact like. Jensen smiled. 

"What?" he asked. 

Hakuna Matata, What a wonderful Phrase." you said. Misha picked up instantly and Joined in. 

"Hakuna Matata, Ain't no passing craze." he sang. 

"It means no worries, for the rest of your days." you sang

"It's our problem free, Philosophy... Hakuna Matata." you both sang together. 

"Oh God." Mark said shaking his head. 

"When he was a young Warthog." you sang pointing at Misha. 

"When I was a young Wart hoggggggggg!" Misha sang. Jensen was trying to look annoyed but cracked a smile as he watched the two of you. 

"Very nice." you said. 

"Thank you." Misha replied smiling. 

"He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal. He could clear the Savannah after every meal." you continued. 

"This is true." Mark muttered. 

"I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick skinned." Misha sang "And it hurt that my friends, never stood down wind." You crossed your fingers as to say shame shame at Mark, Jensen, and Jared. 

"Oh the Shame!" Misha cried dramatically

"He was ashamed!" you echoed. 

"Thought of Changing my name!" Misha cried

"What's in a name?" you asked patting his back. 

"And I got Downhearted." Misha sang hanging his head. 

"How did you feel?" you asked 

"Every time that I..." Misha started. 

"Hey, Not in front of the kids." you warned pointing to Jensen and Mark. 

"Sorry." he replied. 

"Hakuna Matata, What a wonderful Phrase." you both sang dancing around. Jensen shook his head as Mark Looked annoyed. 

"Hakuna Matata Aint no passing Craze." you both said dancing around Jared. 

"It means no worries for the rest of your days." Jared started singing. 

"Yeah, Sing it Kid." you encouraged him. 

"It's our problem free, philosophy. Hakuna Matata." You all three sang. 

"Hakuna" you chanted. 

"Matata" Misha Chanted. 

"Hakuna" 

"Matata" 

"Hakuna" 

"Matata" 

"It means no worries, for the rest of your days!" Jared sang. 

"It's our problem free, Philosophy Hakuna Matata!" you all three sang. 

"Come on!" Mark said looking at Richard. 

"Ok, That's lunch everyone." He called out, laughing. 

You, Misha, and Jared walked off set Chanting Hakuna Matata. 

"Hakuna Matata Mark." Jensen said. Mark Smiled. 

"Hakuna Matata Jensen." Mark Replied as they followed the three of you off stage. It was gonna be a long day.

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to let me know what you think, and if you have any request feel free to ask me. <3


End file.
